Archive | October 2026

Dumb Like A Fox

Oct28

As soon as all the cows had stepped into their proper stalls, I pulled the lever on the south side of the barn to close that row of neck bars. This loose restraint would keep them from wandering around the barn during milking chores. Daddy pulled the lever to close the neck bars on the north side stanchions. I hoped all 36 cows were held in place. Sometimes one would try to trick us by stepping into her stall but pushing her head alongside the device that could keep her there.

The cows were stubborn about coming into the barn tonight. Two of them took turns trying to squeeze past barricades to enter the area in front of the stanchions. That was no big surprise because the loaded feed cart was parked there. They just wanted an extra mouthful of delicious ground oats. Daddy yelled and slapped the cows’ haunches and hollered that their behavior was bad enough to make a saint swear. His anger seemed to make the greedy cows act stupider.

Calm returned to the barn after Daddy took the feed cart around and portioned out the feed that each cow was to get. The cows lapped up the grain and chomped loudly as they ate hay. One cow that I was standing near shook her head until her ears flopped comically. She laid down, exhaling loudly. The chains holding the neck bars in place clinked as she moved. I loved these big, dumb cows with their flat faces and dark, iridescent eyes. I didn’t even mind the smell of them.

Continue reading →

You…Pig Snort!

Oct21

Supper would be later than usual for my family on that hectic fall afternoon. Unexpected afterwork delays and equipment breakdowns had strained my nerves and made my children irritable with hunger. Deciding to make a quick and easy supper of sloppy joes on sliced bread, I put a pound of hamburger into the fry pan on the stove. The phone rang and I answered it. While talking to my husband on the phone about our respective negative experiences we’d had that day, the frying hamburger started to burn. I howled with frustration. A greasy smoke haze filled the kitchen air.

From the living room next to the kitchen, I could hear my five- and nine-year-old children playing. Short-tempered because of their hunger, and perhaps as a reflection of their mother’s palpable aggravation, they seemed to be quarreling more than playing. Finally, the fight escalated to the point of total outrage and the angry child stuttered as she shouted the ultimate insult, “You, you, you PIG SNORT!” The insulted child stomped out of the room.

The absurd insult made me chuckle. I wasn’t sure what was wrong with being a pig snort, but being called one in that tone of voice left no doubt about your lowliness and despicable existence. Laughing seemed to reset my temper for the evening. Frustrations weren’t the end of the world. I clearly recognized that my children’s irritableness was a reflection off me. I reminded myself, “The saying is true…’If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!’”

Continue reading →

I Have…VoIP!

Oct14
It sounded like an illness!

My sixteen-year-old brother took me for a walk when a man came to our farmhouse to install our family’s first telephone. I didn’t know what a phone was but knew how to get in the way and annoy people with floods of questions. That fall, I entered first grade.

I quickly learned that our phone was connected to something called a ‘party line’. That meant there were several families in our neighborhood who shared the use of one line.  

When someone on our ‘party line’ received a call, all the phones on the ‘party line’ rang. Each household knew who the call was for, because each household was assigned a different series of long and short rings. We were not supposed to pick up our phone receiver unless the phone rang our assigned rings. Some people liked to pick up to see who was calling the neighbor. They usually stayed silent, but sometimes there were background sounds. Mom called the people who listened in on other people’s calls, “Rubberneckers”.

If a phone conversation lasted a long time, no one else on the party line was able to use the phone until that call ended. When there was an emergency, like a farmer needing to call the veterinarian for a calving cow or his barn was on fire, the farmer would break into the conversation by saying, “Please get off the phone. I have an emergency!” 

Telephones evolved quickly. By the time I graduated from high school, all telephone lines were private. The new phones at that time came in many colors other than black. Instead of cranking the phone, we just used one finger to spin a dial to enter seven digits. Our calls were clear as a bell. Everyone had landline phones back then, so there were phone books in every home. These books gave the name, address and telephone number of everyone living in your community and were so handy!

Continue reading →

Perfectly Fine

Oct7

I slid out from behind the steering wheel and slammed the car door shut. The fall afternoon sunshine was so beautiful, I should have been out enjoying a walk on my country road. But a day off from my job at the hospital was often spent running errands. Once I completed my job list, I swung by the hospital to attend a meeting at the 7 North Unit where I worked. While on duty when unit meetings are being held, I was often too busy to attend.

I walked into the lounge where the meeting was being held, followed by two nurses who also had the day off. Our Unit Manager nurse slowly worked her way through the meeting agenda; a new doctor’s standing orders, changes in how to send certain lab samples, patient safety issues, and an update on computer-based training requirements. Her last topic: the results of recent patient-care surveys. Our patients were saying the care they received from us was good. According to administration, that meant we were falling down on the job! Afterall, why weren’t our patients saying we gave ‘very good’, or ‘excellent’ care on the hospital survey?

As an employee at the hospital, I was always aware that if a patient had a nurse or nursing assistant who was rude or gave poor care, that patient would see the entire hospital as being a bad place. Each employee represents the place where they work. A bad employee is like a weak link: a breaking point. The patients surveyed regarding their stay at my hospital didn’t say they thought our care was subpar. But according to the survey managers, our patients damned us with faint praise. Administration reacted to the survey report as if they had been given a mouthful of unsweetened, lukewarm oatmeal. 

Continue reading →