Archive | October 2023

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Oct25

Tammie took this picture when we were on the train to Rome. I was tired, but she said I looked “Perky”.

Our plane wasn’t scheduled to take off until later in the afternoon. My daughter Tammie justified the wait by explaining, “If there’s a delay in getting checked in, we’ll still be able to board the airplane on time.” I nodded my understanding.

The building we’d just stepped into was huge and there were hundreds of people moving around, checking in, and dropping off luggage. Tammie pulled out her passport and placed it face down on the screen of a check-in kiosk. It recognized her, and immediately spit out a luggage label and her boarding pass. She instructed, “Now give me your passport.”

I’ve taken three pilgrimages to Europe since 2013. But on those trips, there had always been a tour coordinator who set the schedule and made the necessary arrangements for accommodations and activities. This was my first non-pilgrimage international trip. My daughter Tammie was the coordinator this time. She had bought our airline tickets, rented an Airbnb apartment, and scheduled tours.

Leaving on a jet plane isn’t something I look forward to doing because I’m not a good traveler. I get motion sick easily, my ears ache from changing air pressure, and I dislike being seat-belted in a crowded vehicle for hours on end.

Before boarding a plane, each passenger must go through security where all bags, purses, shoes, and electronics are X-rayed. Then the traveler stands in a scanner. When it was my turn, the alarm went off. Pulled over to one side, a TSA agent gave me a very through pat-down. After walking away, I whispered to Tammie, “Expect this to happen every time I’m scanned. I think my knee replacement sets the machine off.”

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A Career Change

Oct18

I looked forward to attending the Rochester Silo convention because for me it was a vacation from my job as a nursing assistant. My husband Arnie and I would stay at a hotel and attend catered events. A few months earlier, Arnie had decided to go into business with a man from Indiana. They named their joint operation, ‘R&R Sales and Services.’ This career change came as a surprise to me. Up until then, my husband had been a welder and had never expressed an interest in becoming a salesman. The new business sold farm equipment and Rochester Siloes. So far, Arnie hadn’t sold a single silo.

All the activities at the convention appeared to be geared toward pumping the salesmen up to a fever-pitch of excitement. The company claimed Rochester Silos were the best silos in the Midwest. They pointed out with pride how their logo could be seen on top of new silos all throughout the countryside. Everyone attending the silo convention was lavished generously with fine foods and drinks.           

To encourage stronger sales, the Rochester company handed out rewards to their most productive salesmen. The pinnacle of the evening was when the top salesman was presented with a briefcase stuffed with cash.

On our long drive home, Arnie uncharacteristically began talking about what he needed to do to become a good salesman. I suspected he was worried about being a good provider for me and the baby we had on the way. At one point he glanced over at me and admitted, “I need to be able to talk to people as easily as you do.” After a slight pause he added, “I want to be able to start conversations with people in elevators like you do.”

I was surprised.. Did he really admire my crazy ability to talk to anyone who would listen?

In the months that followed, Arnie and I were very busy. He worked on making sales and I was entirely wrapped up in all things that had to do with our newly arrived baby daughter. His business papers piled up on the dining room table because we didn’t have a desk. I wanted the use of the table back, so I made two shelves, one on top of the other along a wall next to the table using four boxes and two planks.

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Cup of Comfort

Oct11

On the other end of the phone, a man identified himself as a Hospital Emergency Room doctor. He said, “I’m sorry, but I must inform you that your husband, Arnie Richardson was brought to the hospital in an ambulance an hour ago, but we were unable to save him. He passed away shortly after arriving here.”  My body felt limp and bloodless as I processed the sudden shock at what the doctor told me.

The minute I put down the phone, doubt flooded into my mind. I told myself that the doctor must have accidentally called the wrong wife. The man who was dead was someone else, not my husband. Once I was ushered into an Emergency Room to identify my husband’s body, my initial shock turned into long term shock. Now, I knew with certainty that the unthinkable was true.

I had a job to do; letting family members know what had happened, plan a funeral, and somehow manage to emotionally live through this unwelcome reality. It was as if I was operating on remote control. During that first week after Arnie died, if someone would have asked me to climb Mount Everest, swim the English Channel or fight off a den of hungry lions, I would have mindlessly, mechanically began climbing, swimming, or fighting.

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“The Look”

Oct4

I kneeled when everyone else did, but unlike the adults, most of my body was below the pew. Uncomfortable and bored, I hooked my arm pits over the wooden backrest in front of me and stretched out my arms to flop them about this way and that. Hearing the thumping sounds that I was making, one of the children in the pew ahead of ours turned around to stare at me.

Mom cleared her throat. It wasn’t a normal throat-clearing sound. It was a signal, and I knew I was in trouble. To meet Mom’s gaze, we both had to lean back a little to see around Daddy and one of my sisters who were kneeling between us. Mom didn’t frown. She just looked at me, but her gray eyes somehow managed to flip switches in my conscience. Her look made me feel ashamed of how I was behaving. Knowing I’d caused her to feel disappointed in me was like a heavy weight on my spirit.

Being a sensitive kid, Mom didn’t need to discipline me with spankings, angry scolding’s, time-outs, or suspended privileges. All it took to hurt my feelings and make me want to obey, was her giving me, “The Look”.

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