Archive | March 2024

Moments of Grace

Mar27

I put down the book I was reading. My husband, Arnie, fresh from having taken a shower, stretched out next to me on our bed. We talked about our day and who we had seen and talked to. I told him what our children, Niki and Tammie and I had done that evening. Then, yawning, Arnie turned to his side.  He said, “I’m tired.” Then he fell instantly asleep.

Placing a bookmark in my book, I set it on the bedside table. The lamp’s light made our pale peach bedroom walls glow a warm, happy color. I glanced over at my sleeping husband and experienced a moment of total appreciation for the love we shared. In that blessed moment of realization, I leaned against my husband’s warm body and breathed in the scent of his freshly showered skin. I very clearly remember thinking, “Remember this! I may not always have this for as long as I’d like.”

After my husband died in 2007, I remembered that moment with especial tenderness and recognized it as a moment of grace. Memories like that one gave me comfort amid the loss.

A moment of grace is a time where a person is totally aware of the preciousness of what is possessed. Sometimes it is a moment of respite between the troubles of the past and whatever future troubles that we might have come. My husband and I had weathered the loss of an infant and had raised another one with a handicap, but that was all behind us. We anticipated growing old together. I had no idea that soon a radical change would take place in my life. I never dreamed that Arnie would die at such a young age as 56.

Now, looking back, I recognize that I have experienced these special moments of grace on several occasions through the years. One of these moments happened when I packed and moved out of my childhood home. I stopped at the door of my bedroom to look back and remembered my growing up years. I was happy to be a young adult, but the future felt both exciting and scary. Another moment of grace in my life happened the moment my first baby was placed in my arms. I looked at her and understood, “This baby needs more care than the average baby, and I’ve never been a mother before!” Sadly, Christy only lived two months.   

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Fancy Fish

Mar20
Sprouted chia seeds in a tray.

I held up the clear-sided, water-filled container and stared intently at the beige snail shell rolling around inside. It looked hollow. I said to the salesperson, “This snail shell looks empty, like no one is at home inside. Could the little snail be dead?”

Shaking his head, the salesperson responded confidently, “No. It’s alive. That’s a mystery snail. You don’t see its foot because this type of snail has a little trap door that can be closed when they want to hide.”

Snails with trap doors! I’d never heard of anything like that before. because I decided to buy it because I think snails are fascinating. I would just have to watch to see if it eventually moved. Turning back to examine the various betta fish for sale, I wondered which one to buy. There were small reddish ones with small fins. I figured they were females. One black betta had long, dreadlock-appearing fins. Two of the fish had large, fan-like fins. The fish I picked to take home was black with white fins. Its ruffled white pectoral fins reminded me of Victorian lace as it fluttered nervously when I picked up the small container it was in.

My daughter, Niki, gave me a small aquarium for Christmas. It was equipped with a water pump and three seed growing trays to cover the top of the tank. In the trays are specially coated “growing” rocks. Wheat grass and radish seeds were included in the kit. The sprouts from these seeds can be harvested and eaten in salads. The water pump keeps the rocks constantly damp, which makes them a perfect place for seed germination. I loved this setup because it would keep my cats from trying to go fishing whenever I wasn’t looking.

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Dead Fish Omen

Mar13

While helping a surgical patient take his afternoon walk, I noticed the delivery girl from a local floral shop delivering plants and flowers to our hospital unit. Later, when I returned to the nurse’s station to chart, a beautiful bank of flowers lined the front desk. Deciding that my charting could wait, I began to deliver the flowers to their specific rooms.

One arrangement caught my attention. It consisted of a large, clear glass vase filled with water and topped with a bareroot peace lily, secured so that it would neither sink in deeper, nor fall out. In the water among the plant’s white roots, was a lone betta fish.

Holding the vase up, I commented to a nurse, “Look, this is the latest fad. People have been giving these fish and floral arrangements as gifts to our patients for the past month. What do you think of it?”

The nurse studied the fish and the greenery above it, before answering, “It’s pretty, but I always forget to water house plants. Neither fish nor plant would do very well at my house.”

I carried the vase into the room that was written on the gift tag, and announced, “Someone loves you and they’re saying it with flowers!”

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The Trip that almost Didn’t Happen

Mar6
It’s hard to imagine what we would all have missed!

Feeling indecisive about what to pack and what to leave at home, I stood at the foot of my bed inspecting piles of clothing that I’d placed on the bedspread. On Saturday, three days from now, my daughter Tammie and I were leaving on our long-anticipated trip to Rome. Excitement and nervousness coursed through my body. It seemed surreal that the time to leave was now so quickly approaching.  

Our flight to Europe would take off from Minneapolis airport. Since my daughter had come to Wisconsin a few days ago to attend her cousin’s wedding, the plan was for me to go back with Tammie to her home in Saint Paul. After the trip was over, Niki, my other daughter, would drive to the Twin Cities to take me back to Central Wisconsin.

I could hear Tammie getting ready for bed. She called out, “Are you packing? We’ll be leaving right after I finish work tomorrow afternoon.”

Pulling a suitcase closer to me, I answered, “I’m trying to pack.” A moment later when Tammie walked into my bedroom, I explained, “I’m not getting anywhere with packing because I’m trying to imagine what I’ll all need for the next two weeks. That’s how long I’ll be gone from home, between going to Rome and my staying at your place a few days before the trip and a few days after.”

Nodding, Tammie suggested, “Pack two suitcases. One for everything you will need while in Rome and the other one for what you will need while visiting me.”

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