Something woke me up from a deep sleep. I tensed up, remembering that I had a four-day-old baby in the next bedroom. Alongside me, my husband slept soundly. He appeared to have no worries about being a new parent. Looking around the dark bedroom, my eyes turned to the windows. The darkness of the yard outside our mobile home appeared less dark than the darkness of the room.

Despite knowing for months that I had a baby on the way, the birth of Niki made me feel surprised and scared! The responsibility of motherhood intimidated me. I wasn’t wise and all-knowing as a mother should be. The bottom line was that I felt like I still needed MY mother!

From the next room, I heard the soft movements of my baby squirming in her crib. Was it that tiny little sound which had awakened me? I held my breath. A moment later, Niki cried. The sound made me leap out of bed like there were springs under me. In a panic, I knew that although it was the middle of the night, I had to feed her and change her diaper. I was responsible for not only her comfort, but her well-being.

The minute I lifted Niki out of her crib, a calm came over me. The smell of her skin, the warmth of her body against mine felt so right. After feeding her, I placed my baby over my shoulder and patted her back. Standing at one of the windows waiting for Niki to burp, I marveled at the beauty of the night sky. Stars sparkled across the great expanse overhead. To the north I saw a tongue of green light licking the sky. I gasped. Northern lights! At first the moving wave looked green, then blue and later I saw a tinge of pink.

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