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Panning for Gold

Jul9

I carried two cups of tea into the dining room and placed one on the table in front of my daughter Tammie. Glancing up at me, she questioned, “Did you put sweetener in mine?”

Sitting down across from her, I admitted, “Your tea might be sweeter than you like.”

Taking a sip, my daughter raised her eyebrows and chuckled, “It is pretty sweet!”

I offered, “Would you like me to get you a fresh cup?”

“No, it’ll be fine.” Tammie assured me. “I want you to stay at the table with me so we can discuss where we will go for our vacation this year.”

Cupping my cold hands around the warm mug of tea, I confidently suggested, “This is the year we should go to Alaska.”

With a broad smile, Tammie commented, “We’ve talked about going to visit Alaska for the last dozen years. Somehow, it just never happened. Why do you suppose that was?”

Nodding, I admitted, “The idea of going there has always appealed to me, but we never could agree on what we wanted to see or do while in Alaska. We talked about going salmon fishing on the ocean, but I felt really reluctant about it. This year I’ve finally realized that fishing would be fun to do if Arnie were still with us, but not for us to do alone. A fishing trip like that was something he would have absolutely loved, but that doesn’t mean we have to do it! We also talked about Alaska’s gold rush history and how much fun it would be to try panning for gold in a stream. We never investigated finding a guide for that.”

             Tammie added more reasons why our plans to visit Alaska other years just never worked out, “We never could come to an agreement about which cities to visit, where to stay, nor how long to stay.”

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What Was That?

Jul2

The loud, frighting bang against the living room window and a flash of light happened simultaneously. Something had entered the house and zipped past me into the dining room, then I heard what sounded like shattering glass.

What had come into my house? Although I didn’t exactly see whatever it was, my eyes had tracked its movement as it entered the dining room. Where was the broken glass? I got out of my rocking chair to investigate.

Earlier in the evening, ominous dark clouds had filled the sky. The air in my backyard was still, like it often is right before a storm. Standing at my back door, I studied the dark, roiling clouds overhead. Then my cell phone buzzed, and a business-like woman’s voice announced, “Attention please! Tornado warning in this area until 7 P.M. Take shelter now! Check media.”

Having to deal with something scary like an approaching tornado makes me think of my late husband. If he was still with me, he’d probably would’ve stood on the back deck and not retreat to the basement unless he saw, with his own eyes, a funnel cloud approaching. I didn’t want to sit in my unfinished farmhouse basement for three-quarters of an hour, so I compromised by wrapping up in a blanket and sitting in the stairwell to the basement. Fortunately, the power didn’t go out, so I had lights and WIFI.

The worst of the storm passed, so I returned to the living room where I sat down in a rocking chair across the room from the room’s large window. The drapes on the window were open a few inches so I could still see the flashes of lightning. On the television, a meteorologist was pointing to a map, showing where tornadoes had been sighted.

I wasn’t expecting anything to happen, but by chance I glanced at the big window just as a ball of light, about the size of a basketball, struck the center of the window with a bang and I sensed something zipping past me into the dining room and nearly simultaneously hearing glass break.

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Cow Pasture Daisies

Jun25

I rolled around on the grass in the backyard, playing with our beagle, Dopy, and a barn cat who stopped off for a visit on her way back to the barn after an afternoon of mousing in the orchard. Mama cat enjoyed my attention, but she was in a hurry. She didn’t want to miss getting her share of the soppy milk filter from the milk strainer that Daddy threw into the cat food dish when the milking chores were finished.

The June afternoon had been hot, but the grass on our back lawn was in the shade of the house, so it felt cool against my skin. Laying on my back, I watched a few fluffy clouds slowly move across the blue sky, listened to birds twittering, a bee buzzing, a heifer in the barnyard bawling, and the comforting, rhythmic thrum of the Surge vacuum pump in the barn. I loved the sound of it. It meant I knew where Daddy was, and that the cows were getting milked. All was right with the world.

Nearby, Mom worked like her energy was endless. On her knees, she dug and smoothed the flowerbed soil to repair last winter’s damage. Freshly sprouted perennial plants had their dead stems cut away, while annual plants killed by the cold were removed and replaced with new, blossoming plants.

I knew when Daddy finished milking the cows and had let them out to pasture for the night. The Surge vacuum pump was turned off and shortly after that, he came to see what Mom was doing. Excitedly, Mom showed him all the work she had done while he was doing his chores. He admired the beautiful flowerbed arraignment and smiled with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. Daddy teased, “Those are pretty flowers, but I saw some that look just like them growing wild along one of the line fences.” Mom made an indignant huffing sound and began to gather up her gardening tools for the night. Daddy gave her a clumsy hug.

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One Job

Jun18

I picked up my long-handled clippers from the garage and walked across the lawn towards one of the pine trees in the backyard. Sunday afternoons are for relaxing and not working, but I looked forward to cutting down the unwanted clumps of false elderberry bushes and other invasive saplings growing under the trees. This one job done on a Sunday afternoon would be easy to do, and a pleasure to have out of the way.

Visiting and checking on flowerbeds around the backyard on this pleasant early summer afternoon was a joy. Birds warbled happy tunes to announce that they had returned from their winter vacations. A busy little wren sang to warn other birds to stay away from his nest. An oriole singing from a tree top sounded wistful, like he was begging for jelly to eat.

Arriving at the tree patch, I stood looking at the plethora of weeds growing in profusion under the pine’s branches. I wondered where to start. The area had never been touched by a lawn mower. I ducked under the closest tree’s bottom branches and boldly waded into the tangled mess. My goal was to cut down the tallest and bushiest first. Instantly, a legion of no-see-ums rose up and swarmed across my face, neck and hair. The small, biting midges got behind my glass lenses and in my ears where they buzzed frantically and bounced against my skin like pinballs in a pinball machine. Sputtering, I spit out the no-see-ums that were trying to get into my mouth.

Swatting at the small insects was futile; they moved too fast. Suddenly, my one, small Sunday afternoon job felt like a hard-fought, protracted war and I was a stubborn soldier who refused to leave until the job I came to do was done. The enemy crawled all over my arms and legs. Dozens of midges started to take samples of blood from my hairline. I leaned over and quickly lopped off the bushes and invasive trees.

            Once I’d accomplished my goal, I rushed to escape. Taking a hasty step forward, one of the plant stem stubbles stabbed me in the ankle. Gasping, I limped out of the bramble onto the lawn. My leg hurt and blood trickled from the wound.

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Precious Essence

Jun11

I wrote a history book twenty-five years ago. It told when, how, and who made Saint John the Baptist Church in Marshfield become the first Catholic parish in our newly formed Central Wisconsin city 125 years before. To accomplish this, I borrowed a friend’s Publisher program. Being relatively new to computers, and totally without instructions on how to use the program, I went to work making a desk-top book.

Saint John the Baptist Church will celebrate 150 years as a parish in 2027. Father Thelen, our current pastor recently asked me if I was interested in updating my history book for that event. I instantly felt panic. I’d changed computers at least three times since 2002. Would I still have a copy of the book?

The word serendipity came to mind when I looked in my file cabinet and saw a CD labeled; my documents 2004. A friend visited me one evening, two years after I wrote the history book. She told me I should occasionally make a copy of what I had on my computer, so if it ever crashed, I would have my work saved. Computer CDs were new to me, but Val had one with her and proceeded to make a copy of my writing program. It was the only time I have ever made a copy of my computer’s contents.

My lack of computer experience and total lack of knowledge of the Publisher program turned making the book into a major struggle. One unsurmountable technical difficulty I had 25 years ago, was how to put pictures into the book. Unable to solve this problem, I ended up taking my digital book stored on a floppy disk, to the printer and proceeded to physically lay the pictures out where I wanted them. Surprisingly, the printer let me do this, and even more surprisingly, the book turned out. I returned all those photos and original documents to the church rectory and parishioners.

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Strawberry Robbers

Jun4

After checking the carrots and potatoes in stovetop kettles, I loudly announced, “Everything is ready. Let’s pray, so we can sit down to eat.”

My four youngest grandchildren, Luke, Jacob, Gemma and Blaise, wandered into the kitchen where my daughter Niki, sisters Rosie and Agnes, and I stood. Looking around, Jacob questioned, “What are we having?”

I’d made a fresh loaf of bread. Rosie brought a bowl of fruit salad, and Agnes brought a jar of pickled okra, and cheese curds to go with supper. Niki made roasted chicken thighs. She instructed, “The plates and silverware are on the counter next to the stove. Mom’s bread is on the counter next to the refrigerator. When you have what you want, find a place to sit at the table. The rest is on the table.”

This was our weekly Tuesday night family meal, where each week we enjoy good food and conversation. When the meal was over, my company started to think about going home to relax for the night. Agnes and Rosie hugged each other, then they hugged me and Niki, then the children hugged my sisters and me.

I stepped out the back door of my house, pleasantly surprised at how velvety warm the evening spring air felt. A chorus of spring peepers from by the nearby river were peeping loudly and a flock of birds in a grove of trees sounded like they were squabbling over which branches to roost on for the night. Stepping out of the house to join me on the deck, my sister Rosie chirped, “It’s been lovely! I’ll see you all next week.” I watched everyone get into their cars and drive away.

From a tree next to the house, a robin warbled a song of praise and thanksgiving. From the top of the yard light pole, another robin joyfully answered. The sound was delightfully pure.

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Spring’s First Flower

May28

Melting snow exposed muddy ruts next to the cow yard. Tall tufts of brown grass lined the yard. Last summer’s smooth, green lawn now looked dreary, brown, and treacherously uneven. A wet cardboard box, softened and broken down, littered the yard as a strong westerly wind pushed and pulled it about between outbuildings. The farmhouse and barn appear bleak under the overcast sky. They looked naked without summertime foliage to conceal weather-weary paint, and lack of structural beauty. The winter-ravaged farmyard had never looked worse.

With nothing better to do, I rode my bike around and around the farmyard’s circle driveway. When I realized I could also ride around the old house which sat next to the driveway, I enjoyed changing up my route by doing figure eights. I felt warm despite the chilly wind.

Billy, my big brother, stood in the doorway of the milkhouse when he and Daddy finished doing the morning barn chores. I rode over to him and stopped. He said, “Listen to all the birds that have come back for the summer. Do you recognize robin song and red-wing-black bird calls?”

I responded, “Of course I do. I’m not a baby.”

My brother asked, “Have you noticed how big the buds have gotten on the cottonwood trees? It won’t be long before they leaf out.”

I hadn’t noticed that. With consternation, I exclaimed, “Those branches look dead! Everywhere I look, the tree branches are bare. I hate this time of spring. Nothing is growing yet.”

Smiling, my twenty-year-old brother said, “That’s not true. Let me show you something.” Leaning my bike against the milkhouse, I followed my brother to the sunny side of our barn. He stopped and pointed at a small tuft of green growing against the stone foundation.

It was a dandelion. A few steps beyond that was another one, and that one had a bright yellow blossom, too. Seeing it made my gloomy opinion of early spring disappear. Protected by the building, warmed by the sun and the heated stones, these brave plants grew and produced spring’s first flower. Billy picked a dandelion blossom, and we went into the house where he presented the wildflower to Mom.

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Feeling Connected

May21

In my dream, it was time to go home from work. I had enjoyed working my hospital shift but suddenly realized that I had never cared for one of my assigned patients. Patient vitals needed to be taken and then charted; hours of overtime started to accumulate. I heard someone talking and wished they’d be quiet so I could finish my work. Coming to consciousness, I realized the talking was coming from my bedside alarm clock set to radio.

I have always detested the sound of a buzzing alarm clock. Since retiring, I have my alarm clock radio programed to automatically turn on at seven thirty in the morning. Despite this being a full two hours after the time I had to get up for work, I seldom get up right away. The privilege of retirement means I can enjoy laying quietly, relaxing and listening to the radio for another half an hour or more.

The big news that morning, the eighth day of May, was that the conclave in Rome had finished its first full day. According to the news reporters, there wasn’t a single Cardinal candidate that stood out as the most likely one to be chosen. I slipped out of bed thinking, “The conclave will last at least two more days. It’ll be hard for the Cardinals to get a majority vote.”

There were several goals I wanted to accomplish that day. First, I sat down at the dining room table to drink a cup of tea, and jot down a to-do list. A message from my daughter Tammie popped up on my phone. It said, “There is white smoke! We have a new Pope.”

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Daughter Like Mother

May7

I cleared clutter off the dining room table and put away a coat that had been draped over a dining room chair. Returning to the kitchen, I placed a bowl in the dishwasher, closed it and turned it on. The sound of a vehicle pulling into the yard made my cats run to hide. A swirl of cool spring air accompanied my younger grandchildren as they trooped into the house. Luke sniffed appreciatively as he commented, “I can tell you have a loaf of bread in the oven. It smells great!”

Hugging Luke, Jacob, Gemma and Blaise, I announced, “You can eat some of the fresh bread as soon as it cools off a little.” My daughter Niki followed the children into the kitchen, carrying a large pan. Smiling, I instructed, “My bread is finished baking, so I’ll take it out. Then you can put the pork and sauerkraut in the oven. I’ll turn the temperature down, so it doesn’t dry out.”

Niki turned and spotted a loaf of sweet bread on the kitchen counter and asked, “What’s this?”

I explained with a shrug, “I saw a recipe for rice bread on Instagram the other day and I had to try it. I put dried fruit in it.” Seeing the questioning look on my daughter’s face, I added, “It’s ok, but I’ve thought of a few tweaks I could give the recipe to make it better. I’m going make it again.”

When Niki left for her appointment, I gathered art supplies and sat down at the dining room table with my grandchildren. I explained, “I saw an interesting craft on Instagram the other day and I want to do it with you.” For the next hour we made spring blossoms using white, absorbent paper and Q-tips. After putting spots of marker color on the petals, we put the stems into water and watched as dampness spread and made the color bleed beautifully out to the ends of the petals. The craft was fun, and we enjoyed the rainbow streaks of color.

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Baby Khruschev

Apr30

When it began to rain, I wandered into the living room. Unable to work in her flowerbeds, Mom was already there, comfortably cuddled in her rocking chair with a lap robe over her knees, reading a woman’s magazine. Stretching out on the linoleum floor next to Mom, I listened to the rain softly pattering on the cedar tree and lilies growing alongside our house. After a muggy morning, the gentle breeze coming through the window screen, scented so beautifully by green plants and the earth, felt like a bit of heaven.

I spotted the shoe box Mom used to store family pictures on the floor next to Daddy’s favorite chair. Remembering his smiles and head shakes as he went through them last evening, I decided to spend my rainy-day afternoon looking at pictures. There were many of them but not in order. Old pictures and new ones were all jumbled together, so I began to sort them. Being twelve years old and having looked at the pictures often through the years, I knew almost everybody in the pictures, even those taken of my older siblings, before I was born, when they were very young.

Mom had somehow pulled together enough money during the war years to buy a black square, box-camera called a Kodak Brownie. She’d made good use of it. Everyone in the family recognized that having a camera was a luxury. Although the pictures were never put in a photo album, they were often looked at and enjoyed.

Being the baby of my family, an inordinate number of pictures were taken of me. I made a pile of my favorite ones: the one with me on my belly to watch close-up how our cat ate; three-year-old me wearing a polk-a-dot dress and chasing a small flock of guinea hens past the old house; me being held up by my brother Casper, high among the branches of a heavily blooming apple tree. Some pictures showed me looking like a cute toddler, but pictures of me as a tiny baby were much different. One of my infant pictures had caught me on the back lawn, crying with my mouth wide open and my eyes closed. As a baby I was fat and very bald. I stared at my image in disbelief. It was like I saw this picture for the first time. My preteen sensibilities were jarred. What a very ugly baby I had been!  

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