The medical assistant pointed at a scale standing next to an exam room doorway, and politely requested, “Please step on the scale.”

Feeling incredibly rude, I responded just as politely, “I don’t want to be weighed today.”

My refusal was accepted with a simple nod. The world didn’t come to an end. I wasn’t scolded.

I know my weight is up. It’s wintertime. The cold weather, snow and ice keep me from going outside and moving around as much as I would during the warmer months. But I cannot blame my weight gain entirely on seasonal inactivity.

My problem stems from my wintertime indiscretions. The odds are stacked against anyone with a healthy appetite. Just as the weather gets colder and the nights grow longer, we have Halloween. I never have trick-and-treaters stop at my house, but I buy candy anyway. It wouldn’t be so bad if I bought just one candy bar. Instead, I buy candy like I’m preparing for a long, sugarless siege.

Not even a full month later, we celebrate Thanksgiving. Despite having about twenty guests at my table, the food was abundant and there were enough leftovers to have held a second feast.

Saint Nicholas takes place December 6^th, and of course that means buying more candy. Then several members of my family have birthdays at this time of the year. It would be rude to not bake a cake for them! It would be even ruder not to eat some of that cake. Sometimes I restrain myself from eating cake when with others. I get complimented for having a strong will power. Then, after everyone has gone home, I eat “healthy” calories which end up being more calories than I would have taken in with one slice of cake.

Between Christmas and New Years Day, candy flows freely. I never bother making a New Years resolution to lose weight. I wait till the candy is gone, then start a diet. At this time of the year, I am used to eating big meals and sweets whenever I want them. Cutting my calorie supply off cold turkey is impossible to do. I’m hoping that by cutting my eating habits down to a reasonable three squares a day, I will see the scale respond favorably.

Suffering an unfulfilled desire for a snack the other day, I meditated on the question, “Do I eat to live, or do I live to eat?” I suspect my conclusion isn’t the right one to have arrived at. My thoughts kept circling back to, “Eating makes me feel happy.”

Enjoying a good quality of life is like walking on a tightrope. I think being able to eat and enjoy food is an important part of quality. On the other hand, limiting the number of calories I take in so I can easily move around, get through doorways, fit in bucket seats, and feel well is necessary, also. One good quality of life requirement that most people forget about is self-acceptance. So many of us don’t like how we look, nor how much or little we weigh. Self-loathing isn’t a good look either, and is very unhealthy.

Winter nights are long. When it gets dark by five in the evening, I have often felt like it is time for me to go to bed. Bears hibernate all winter and they come out of their dens in the spring very thin. As much as I’d like to be svelte, sleeping away the winter isn’t the way I want to achieve that. I’d miss out on too much, like: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Saint Nicolas, birthdays, Christmas and New Years Day.

There is a dieting mystery that baffles me. Why is it that when I engage in winter indiscretions, eating as much as I want and whenever I want it, I never expect the scale to reveal a weight gain? Yet, on the flip side, if I forgo a single treat, I feel indignant the next day when the scale fails to show evidence of my sacrifice. There ought to be a law!